Week 6: Write about something presently in your life that is "worth it."

I wrote about this particular prompt on my other blog RootedInLove two months after my son was born. Though that was over five months ago now, the answer remains even more true today. If you've read this post before, my apologies, however, it is still my answer to this question today.

Motherhood is a wild experience. I have been a mother for 2.5 months now. Well, technically longer if you count pregnancy as motherhood (and I certainly do) but what I mean to say is that my son arrived in March and thus launched me into life as a new mom. Since the moment my water broke it has been new experience after new experience that have absolutely rocked my world and every second of it has been totally “worth it”. Labor brought pain I didn’t know existed, and the days that followed brought love I could’ve never dreamed up. I have had less sleep, and more anxiety than ever before. I have learned that motherhood changes your body, your mind, your schedule, to name a few things. Yet, I would give it all up a million times to simply have the privilege of being Everett’s momma.

Perhaps the most important lesson I have learned from motherhood thus far is that I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of understanding the radical love of Jesus for us. Nothing challenges selfishness more then becoming a parent. Overnight you become responsible for another persons life. Not only that, but a person who is pretty much helpless in every sense of the word. It’s an overwhelming realization that this little being relies on you for EVERYTHING. Tiring as it may be, you somehow find the strength to get up every two hours to feed them, to change their diaper and clothes 10 (+) times a day just to keep them comfortable, to bounce them on your shoulder for 2 (+) hours whispering reassuring words to them as they scream in your ear, and this is just the beginning!

Somewhere around the second week of Everett’s life, and the 1000th load of laundry, I began to realize that my life will never be the same, and I wouldn’t even want it to be. I ask myself all the time “what did I do before he was here?” I can’t even remember. This is not to glorify myself, or make myself into any sort of hero. I will be the first to say that any energy I have right now is nothing short of a miracle and thus is certainly part of God’s perfect design. All I aim to portray is that overnight my life changed, and I don’t grieve my “old life” in the way I feared I might. Life is exhausting and yet so very, very ‘worth it.’

During the late night feedings, I have had a lot of time to thank God for my beautiful son, and in so doing I cannot help but think about how incredible Christ’s love is for us. I am flawed; sinful beyond repair, yet willing to make sacrifices for my son, simply because I love him. Selfish as I am, I could care less that he does nothing for me. I want to care for him anyway. I would literally do anything for him, and there is no promise that the favor will ever be returned. It is perhaps the first time I have sacrificed so much of my own time and desires for someone else without expectation of any certain response. I simply love him immeasurably and therefore want the very best for him every moment, of every day. I willingly give up my agenda for his comfort.

Lest I elevate myself too much, I realize that my ability to “sacrifice” for my son is weak by comparison to the way Jesus loves us. He didn’t just desire to make us comfortable. He LITERALLY gave his life to save us. We deserve nothing. We are imperfect, ungrateful, egotistical sinners, and yet before we were even born he deemed us “worth it.” The small sacrifice I may make of a few hours of sleep, or free time, are nothing compared to the life that Jesus gave up for me. It is almost too good to be true, and yet it is! This Mother’s Day I am so grateful for the boy who made me a momma, and for all the ways that life with him brings new understanding and a deeper appreciation of my Heavenly Savior.